"..And I will not weep from despair, but simply because I will be happy in my shed tears. I will be drunk with my own tenderness. Sticky spring leaves, the blue sky- I love them all, that's all. Such things you love not with your mind, not with logic, but with your insides, your guts, you love your first young strength..Do you understand any of this blather, Alyoshka, or not?" Ivan suddenly laughed.

"I understand it all too well, Ivan: to want to love with your insides, your guts- you said it beautifully, and I'm terribly glad that you want so much to live," Alyosha exclaimed. "I think that everyone should love life before everything else in the world."

"Love life more than its meaning?"

"Certainly, love it before logic, as you say, certainly before logic, and only then will I also understand its meaning. That is how I've long imagined it. Half your work is done and acquired , Ivan: you love life. Now you need only apply yourself to the second half, and you are saved."

- The Brothers Karamazov.

images by Prokudin-Gorskii. Ostrechina River, 1909.

To do.

Learn how to knit mittens.


Go for a walk every day.


Take care of my plants: new soil and a lot more attention to watering (oops).

Cook this (again).

And have a go at making these.


Finish reading the Brothers Karamazov.


Create beautiful things, like this.

Have a beach picnic with friends, like we used to.



Spend more time with the people I love. And actually "be there".


Be kinder to myself (= worrying less).



image credits. 1. cinq. 2. mdashing 3. unknown 4.+ 5. jamie oliver 6. porter square books 7. amy blackwell 8. original images 9. original image (taken on the spotmatic) 10. unknown.