An Episode of Sparrows

Things got real this week, in the way that they do. 

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(Incredible lotus growing in the mud, just outside of Ubud.)

 My rose-coloured glasses fell off dramatically at the start of the week. Tensions within the place I am working at came to the surface, an unfamiliar loneliness set in, and the phrase "wherever you go, there you are" became all too relevant as I realised that travelling to a new place doesn't necessarily mean all your worries just melt away.

For about half a day, it felt overwhelming and frightening. But now I'm liking the real.
Just as in relationships, I think I'm realising that once the dreamy bliss and high expectations of travelling fade away (though not always without a tinge of disappointment) then you can really get stuck into the direct, messy, joyful experience of a living, breathing culture and landscape, that doesn't conform to your preconceived ideas or fulfill your empty demand that it somehow make you "different" just by being there. It's not perfect here, and I'm not perfect here.

But it's more beautiful now than it was through those rose-coloured glasses, because I'm experiencing the people, food, everyday beauty and life as it goes on in a much freer way. No expectations, and no wish to be different. Just enjoying it.

And it's wonderful.