A man and a loom.

The torrential rain we have been having here for the past few days has stopped. Everything has been given a good wash and the trees, sky, water look clear and bright.

It feels like I'm starting again too, after feeling mostly restless, anxious and overwhelmed last week. It felt like a vague seasickness had decided to take root in my stomach and wouldn't go away. I feel like I've come out of that now but it also made me realise just how much more I need to trust myself, trust my values and trust that feeling of wholeness inside me when things get a bit heavy. If I can't, then I will constantly be depending on other people or things to "make" me happy and I know that is just an impossible request (and I would hate for someone to expect it of me).

I read something today that has stuck with me, a saying by Ghandi that was written on the wall of his ashram:

My life is my message.

It's such a simple philosophy but one that I would like to keep in mind more often. When I think about what "message" my life expresses now compared to what I would like it to say..well, let's just say it's a bit of a gap. But I'm going to try, now in gentler, slower, smaller ways to live a life that's truer to my self- no big dramatic changes, just chipping away very very slowly at the self-doubt and vanity (and everything else) that has become second nature. I actually feel hopeful. I hope you do too.