An Episode of Sparrows

All things must pass.

2011-12-31T09:51:00.003+11:00

Beautiful song from a beautiful soul.

scrape.

2011-12-19T22:17:00.002+11:00

I recently acquired a precious new tool (scraper) and material (scraperboard) from my Dad's old-stuff-from-illustrating drawer. I've been really enjoying just sitting at my desk and experimenting with simple, fine patterns. It's almost meditative, letting the paint sit until it's bone dry, imagining the image and then beginning the slow, absorbing process of scraping away the thin layer of paint and china clay to reveal brilliant, sharp white lines. Dad is an absolute master with the stuff, and he's created some really beautiful, detailed illustrations. I on the other hand, am just pottering along and slowly working out how the medium works, while immensely enjoying it. I'm finding it's a bit like ping-pong - even if you're not any good at it it's still incredibly fun.

This one was inspired by a detail I saw on a Russian tile pattern

Inspired by all the wonderful little Eastern Spinebills I've been seeing flying around lately. They are the closest thing to a hummingbird that we have in Australia. The flower is from a beautiful gum blossom (the brightest natural orange I've ever seen) that I came across on a walk.

plenty.

2011-12-19T22:03:00.000+11:00

--Nath preparing tomatoes, corn and salads for a christmas dinner a few weeks ago--

--- Lovely marmalade from lovely Sarah---

--- Mum's colourful tabouleh ---

--- Rosemary, thyme and daisy bundles ---

Sweet things.

2011-12-19T21:52:00.003+11:00

Beautiful native proteas I bought a few weeks ago from the fruit shop near where I work. They were loosely bunched together with some Eucalyptus leaves and I stuck them in an old kitchen jar. I loved looking at them every day (and smelling the leaves- heady, strong Eucalypt). They are truly incredible flowers and they only grow in the Southern Hemisphere. The petals are furry like a peach, and the core of the flower is made up of these tiny, hairy white stamen that look like moths' antennae. And the flower itself is about as big as a rockmelon. I love them.

beautiful line

2011-11-16T16:50:00.001+11:00

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Love these nudes by Korean Artist Chun Eun Sil. So simple and yet so incredibly beautiful.

The rest of her work is wonderful too, she is renowned for her whimsical, dreamlike illustrations which are so lovely..but it's the simplicity of these nude drawings that really got me.

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2011-11-14T21:05:00.001+11:00

This evening was perfect. I love living where I live.

2011-11-11T12:55:00.001+11:00

New illustration. Inspired by Midnight's Children (and my hands).

I'd like to visit India in the near future.

Pi.

2011-11-11T09:13:00.001+11:00

"I must say a word about fear. It is life's only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life. It is a clever, treacherous adversary, how well I know. It has no decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy. It goes for your weakest spot, which it finds with unerring ease. It begins in your mind, always.

Flying fish. Beautiful illustration by Andrea Offermann.

One moment you are feeling calm, self-possessed, happy. Then fear, disguised in the garb of mild-mannered doubt, slips into your mind like a spy. Doubt meets disbelief and disbelief tries to push it out. But disbelief is a poorly armed foot soldier. Doubt does away with it with little trouble. You become anxious. Reason comes to do battle for you. You are reassured. Reason is fully equipped with the latest weapons technology. But, to your amazement, despite superior tactics and a number of undeniable victories, reason is laid low. You feel yourself weakening, wavering. Your anxiety becomes dread.

Fear next turns fully to your body, which is already aware that something terribly wrong is going on. Already your lungs have flown away like a bird and your guts have slithered away like a snake. Now your tongue drops dead like an opossum, while your jaws begin to gallop on the spot. Your ears go deaf. Your muscles begin to shiver as if they had malaria and your knees to shake as though they were dancing. Your heart strains too hard, while your sphincter relaxes too much. And so with the rest of your body. Every part of you, in the manner most suited to it, falls apart. Only your eyes work well. They always pay proper attention to fear.

Quickly you make rash decisions. You dismiss your last allies: hope and trust. There, you've defeated yourself. Fear, which is but an impression, has triumphed over you.

The matter is difficult to put into words. For fear, real fear, such as shakes you to your foundation, such as you feel when you are brought face to face with your mortal end, nestles in your memory like a gangrene: it seeks to rot everything, even the words with which to speak of it. So you must fight hard to express it. You must fight hard to shine the light of words upon it. Because if you don't, if your fear becomes a wordless darkness that you avoid, perhaps even manage to forget, you open yourself to further attacks of fear because you never truly fought the opponent who defeated you."

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I could not love this book more than I do. Some books become like quiet, refreshing sanctuaries from incessantly anxious minds: this book is like that for me. Funny that an allegorical story about a small Indian boy trying to survive aboard a lifeboat with a Bengali tiger adrift in the Pacific can make me feel less lonely and less fearful despite having nothing to do with the time or place I'm living in.

bug catching

2011-11-09T17:27:00.001+11:00

So many white butterflies in the garden today, they move so haphazardly it was difficult to catch them with the the lens! I like the way that photography can make you pause and look at something so familiar (like the back garden) with completely fresh, curious eyes. I'd never normally pay undivided attention to the bright iridescent flies hanging round, the ladybugs crawling amongst the rocket leaves or the books lined up in the back shed but with a camera in hand everything takes on a new significance.

Warm + sunny.

2011-11-09T13:29:00.003+11:00

Scraperboard experiments - Parramasala - Chai - Orange paint - Wooden Beads. Little things that make me happy.

quiet joys.

2011-11-04T15:44:00.000+11:00

IMAGE SOURCES: 1. google image search 2. jonas peterson photography 3. geninne 4. becca stadtlander 5. google image search 6. jonas peterson photography 7. pinterest 8. pinterest 9. summer goals 10. summer goals 11. the night life of trees - bibliodyssey flickr 12. pinterest 13. google image search

Head in hands.

2011-10-28T11:52:00.003+11:00

If you haven't already seen this, I strongly suggest watching. Detention centres are usually off-limits to the Australian media and now I know why.

(image from Get-Up, sign their petition against mandatory detention here)

http://www.abc.net.au/4corners/stories/2011/10/20/3344543.htm

Why the fuck is this happening here??
We know that indefinite detention has extremely negative and severe mental impact on detainees and yet we still have a system that keeps people in prison-like conditions for over 21 months. Add the fact that many of these people have already endured significant trauma in their birth country, have often left behind family, sacrificed everything just to get here, and are predominantly found to be legitimate asylum seekers: it's a pretty shameful situation.

I find it sickening that just a week before this was aired, Today Tonight showed a segment on "Asylum Seeker Town: the place where asylum seekers are living in better conditions than the locals". It's all about the tragically unfair way in which the Australian government supposedly puts out the "welcome mat to boat people" to come stay at our "Refugee Resorts" on "taxpayer's money", where, shock horror, "there is no wire fencing, no bars, and the inmates live in four-star luxury." (Sadly, these are direct quotes. Excuse me while I bang my head against a wall.)

It wouldn't be quite so infuriating, except for the fact that, as Media Watch's Jonathan Holmes points out (in his awesome roasting of TT, exposing the complete lack of factual evidence for their claims), more people watch Today Tonight than those who watch Four Corners. As he also notes, perhaps this gives us some insight into why this non-issue is considered cause for political debate at all.

What's problematic is that probably a lot of the people who watch current affairs shows like Today Tonight genuinely trust that they are getting factual, evident information. And in an ideal world, people should be able to have this trust in the media.

In my own experience with relatives and family friends, it seems that elderly people are particularly vulnerable to this kind of total trust in current affairs shows, forming their opinions based on segments like the one mentioned. I try to keep this in mind when people express views that seem to have little basis in factual information about asylum seekers- it's not that the people expressing the views are necessarily racist or xenophobic..they've just been fed lies by a media program that runs on fear.

And it's all just very sad.

2011-10-27T09:08:00.001+11:00

It was my lovely cousin Lauren's 22nd birthday yesterday. We had a super awesome morning drinking tea in a bookshop/cafe then inevitably wandered into the local op-shop before parting ways. We both came away with a golden haul; me with some sweet shirts and a ridiculously red teapot (perfect alliteration objects) and Lauren with a cool blazer/shirt that she would never normally wear, deciding that it was a good thing to branch out a little.

(book and soy snacks bought separately)

We were happy with our venture. It was extremely satisfying.
And so, here are five reasons why op-shopping is more fun than normal shopping, just in case you weren't sure:

- It's all a "bonus".
Shopper's remorse can hit you particularly hard if you have gone out to a shopping centre for something in particular, struggled to find it and then ended up buying something ridiculously overpriced that you're not even sure you like out of exasperation. That would suck. And that would never happen at an op-shop. Every time I go into one I have the mindset that anything good I find is a bonus, which means I leave happy every time- even when I haven't found a thing.

- The price tags are negotiable.
When was the last time you went into a 'normal' shop, looked at a price tag and obviously hesitated, only to have the shopkeeper swoop over and offer it to you for half the price because they're "not sure why it's so expensive anyway"?? Exactly. (NB: this happened today with the teapot.)

- It's cheap. And you're recycling.
As someone who feels guilt over the slightest thing, op-shopping saves me twice. Firstly, it's crazily cheap, so there's no spending guilt. Sometimes I can find four shirts that I really like for less than the cost of one in a bargain bin in a normal shop. Which is awesome. Secondly, you're not adding to the already overwhelming amount of stuff in the world, but reusing something that's been pre-owned. And although that is a tiny thing, I think it's good. It's also a big plus knowing that when you shop at a charity op-shop you're helping someone in need, so that's three reasons actually.

- You find stuff you can only dream of.
Like that book you've been dying to read, for $1. Or some jeans you actually like, for 1/100 of the price of a General Pants purchase. Or a signed copy of the original Scandal'us album (remember Popstars?). Or a sexy Demis Roussos LP to adorn your walls (these last two were both found by Ryan, who has a knack for finding terrible albums).

- It takes a bit of imagination.
This is something we worked out yesterday, and I think it's one of the main things that makes op-shopping so enjoyable. You are constantly having to exercise a little imagination. There are no posters in there showing you how to wear this season's line, no reviews to match the many dog-eared books. You have to try and imagine if it is something you can somehow use/wear, and this is a skill that you can definitely sharpen, young grasshopper, with practice. Sometimes your imagination will lead you astray, and that kind of ugly/kind of cool shirt that you thought you could do something with is actually just ugly once you take it home. But even then no harm is done, because that same shirt can be donated back to the shop and maybe someone else's imagination will be able to see it as a lovely thing. And that is the beautiful circle of op-shop life.

Colours

2011-10-26T17:46:00.000+11:00

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My friend Anja is making a massive art installation out of "rope" that she has taught people in the community to twist together from bits of old clothes and curtains. On the weekend a big group of us sat on the beach and roped between swims and it was just one of those incredibly beautiful afternoons. There were big families cooking up barbecues in the park, kids playing in the lagoon and everything just had this lovely, vibrant, summery feel to it. I like looking at the bright colours of these photos now that the brief hot weather has been replaced with grey clouds (which I don't mind either, it just calls for books and socks instead of beach towels and cold fruit!).

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Make it count.

2011-10-20T11:16:00.000+11:00

For the next month, the Australian Govt has offered to match every donation made to the East Africa Food Crisis Appeal over at Oxfam. That means a donation of $85, becomes $170: enough to provide ten families with hygiene kits. $160 will become $320 and is enough to supply four families of six with essential food packs for one month. I think it's a pretty awesome initiative and a great way to make your donation go further.

Another really effective organisation that has recently updated its listings is Good Return. Similar to the Kiva model, Good Return is based on micro-financing, that is, supplying small "loans" to help people in developing countries start their own small businesses, or finance production of vegetables or handmade products to help generate income.

What I like about Good Return is that it is specifically focused on helping women in the Asia-Pacific region, and you are able to get a direct sense of who is receiving your loan and what they hope to use it for. The whole idea of micro-financing is really inspiring too, as it works on the assumption that it is important to support long-term initiatives and help enable women to start local businesses or crops of their own choosing that they then maintain and hopefully profit from. It's hard to imagine a time when there won't be a need for direct-donation programs like Oxfam, especially when it comes to emergency relief and extreme poverty, but it's good to know there are also other ways of giving that ultimately contribute to financial (and personal?) independence.

On Good Return, there is an option to donate your money without repayment, but I think one of the most effective ways to use it is to donate, have that amount repaid once the person's business is up and running, then redirect that loan to another person. That way, $50 can be re-distributed as many times as you like, helping many different women start businesses that will hopefully sustain them. It's that "give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he'll never go hungry" thing, and I think it's a great approach.

(photos from my trip to Cambodia, a couple of years ago now!)

Line x shape x colour

2011-10-19T17:09:00.001+11:00

I was going to include this in the last post but I think it deserves its own.

I have been trawling through this blog with travel-hungry eyes for the past week..it is so beautiful and has definitely inspired me to start thinking about/saving up for a similar trip in the next couple of years. It's well worth having a better look at Gemma and Andrew's adventures through Central Asia and the Middle East and checking out all the wonderful, wizened faces of the people they met, and the incredible architectural details and big plates of exotic food, but just to give you an idea, here are a few of their photos that really jumped out at me.

ps. they stayed in a yurt in Kyrgyzstan. If I had a bucket list that would be on it.

All images by Gemma Cagnacci from line x shape x colour.

2011-10-19T14:41:00.000+11:00

Some things, experiences, and words that I found to be good, true and helpful this week.

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Good memories.

Swimming in the mediterranean, eating fresh seafood,

being with my family.

A funny look back at a younger self and a poem

I could probably still learn a lot from today.

Mum's garden. Fresh herbs.

Op-shop finds. Only $1 (but it will need a lot of tailoring)!

This beautiful, honest talk, by William McInnes.

Sitting above crashing waves is a good feeling.

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Another really interesting talk here, about small acts of resistance.

"He spoke only a few words, but those words contained the entire teaching: in your seeing, there should only be seeing; in your hearing nothing but hearing; in your smelling, tasting, touching nothing but smelling, tasting, touching; in your cognizing, nothing but cognizing."

- the Art of Living as taught by SN Goenka

This song. By the best Beatle.

"To love, in the context of Buddhism, is above all to be there. But being there is not an easy thing. If you are not there, how can you love? Our body might be there, but our mind is somewhere else. Maybe you are lost in regrets about the past, maybe in worries about the future, or else you are preoccupied with your plans, with anger or with jealousy. And so your mind is not really there with your body. With mindful breathing, you can bring body and mind together in the present moment, and everyone of us can do it, even a child. The most precious gift you can bring to the people you love is your true presence."

- Thich Nhat Hanh, True Love

I really need to remember and practice this.

spring.

2011-09-27T14:41:00.003+10:00

a solitary picnic a few weeks back in a place i'm lucky to call home

some inky black images waiting to be made into a print

the lovely cherry blossom growing in my neighbour's yard

beautiful fresias..the sweet smell and riotous colours make me deliriously happy.

2011-09-27T08:08:00.000+10:00

Early mornings, Leunig cartoons and old Van Morrison songs are good for the soul.

2011-09-16T19:27:00.005+10:00

New illustration, using an old drawing I did of a Scandinavian boat.

I'm feeling really creative at the moment so I'm trying make the most of it before it wears off. Bought some new brushes today and one tube of a lovely burnt orange acrylic paint..I have always used Dad's paints and only just realised how expensive they are to buy!

Apparently Van Gogh would forgo meals so he could afford paint (according to my brother, who is a fairly reliable source on these matters). The only thing I might have to forgo is slapping on paint with a palette knife, using up whole tubes on one artwork..which is fine by me.

2011-09-14T13:23:00.002+10:00

New print that I will be taking along to the next Coledale markets.

It's from a drawing I did of a small blue cup that my friend stole for me from a Japanese restaurant a few years ago. I had said that I liked it at dinner and when my birthday came a couple of months later she presented it to me. Very sneaky, yet thoughtful.

2011-09-08T19:30:00.000+10:00

Today.

2011-08-31T20:20:00.000+10:00

Feelings and moods are so weird.

(image from non-clickable tumblr, via pinterest)

They seem to come and go as they please, and it can be hard to tell the difference between the ones that could be alerting you to something that genuinely needs attention in your life, and the ones that really need to just be looked at, with bemused indifference, then let go of before they jostle for precious head space and threaten to blacken everything around you.

Just to make things that bit more confusing, sometimes there appears to be no rhyme or reason as to when talking about things helps, and when it just makes it worse. If there's one thing I'm learning, it's that there's hardly ever a blanket rule for this kind of thing. It's so tempting and attractive to think that there is, that if you approach something in a certain way it will always work..but, it's just not how things go.

It's also really tempting to want to simplify things: to think that you understand something or someone in full, and to reduce them to a manageable, knowable size and shape that conveniently fits inside the pigeonholes in your head. But again, this is at odds with the reality of this person as a complex, inconsistent, feeling, living being, much like yourself.

We're all too familiar with the really horrible, tangible effects that this kind of "reducing" of other people can have on a large, social scale (racism, sexism and all the other isms seem to stem from it to a degree) but what amazes me (at least in my own life) is how frighteningly easy it is to let it creep in to your personal, everyday interactions, be it with the people you deal with across a counter, or the people that matter to you most. It's so incredibly easy to react to, attack and belittle the very limited mental image that you have of someone, it's infinitely harder (but incredibly important) to try and relate to another person in a way that acknowledges and sees their 'realness' that is so akin to your own.

As convoluted and inarticulate this may all be, I guess I'm trying to express this because I can see the damage it does to my relationships when I react to an image built out of assumptions, my own fears, and wrong perceptions rather than the real person in front of me. To be on the receiving end of this feels pretty terrible as well. So, hey, let's all try to relate to actual people, not the 2D cardboard cutouts of them in our heads, and it might save us all a lot of unnecessary suffering.

I will leave you with a quote now, because unsurprisingly, no one says it better than David Foster Wallace.

Here is just one example of the total wrongness of something I tend to be automatically sure of: everything in my own immediate experience supports my deep belief that I am the absolute center of the universe; the realest, most vivid and important person in existence. We rarely think about this sort of natural, basic self-centeredness because it’s so socially repulsive. But it’s pretty much the same for all of us. It is our default setting, hard-wired into our boards at birth. Think about it: there is no experience you have had that you are not the absolute center of. The world as you experience it is there in front of YOU or behind YOU, to the left or right of YOU, on YOUR TV or YOUR monitor. And so on. Other people’s thoughts and feelings have to be communicated to you somehow, but your own are so immediate, urgent, real.

Please don’t worry that I’m getting ready to lecture you about compassion or other-directedness or all the so-called virtues. This is not a matter of virtue. It’s a matter of my choosing to do the work of somehow altering or getting free of my natural, hard-wired default setting which is to be deeply and literally self-centered and to see and interpret everything through this lens of self.

Alyosha, Dmitri and Ivan.

2011-06-16T13:52:00.001+10:00

I don't think I have ever enjoyed making an illustration as much as I enjoyed making this one.

It was so fun researching Russian folk art and pictures of old churches and samovars, just for inspiration.

I am really happy with the outcome, and I think I will make a few more book-inspired prints.

Any ideas? Any books that you think could be the basis for an interesting illustration?

Or just a great book??

Of course I should mention that the illustration is dedicated to Ryanov Frazeyenovich, who introduced me to the book, and many other incredible reads, and makes reading in general much more enjoyable by teaching me about lots of interesting stuff.

2011-06-15T16:10:00.001+10:00

Some flowers salvaged on my walk home from the station, and a delicious orange juice that Dad made :)

This passage from a book by Thich Nhat Hanh really encouraged me today, forcing me to think differently about some things, and opening up some new possibilities. Hopefully you will enjoy the metaphor too, and maybe even take something supportive from it yourself.

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"Our consciousness is a living thing, something organic in nature. There are always waste materials and flowers in us. The gardener who is familiar with organic gardening is constantly on the alert to save the waste materials because he knows how to transform them into compost and then transform that compost into vegetables and flowers. So be grateful for your pains, be grateful for suffering - you will need them.

We have to learn the art of transforming compost into flowers. Look at a flower: it is beautiful, it is fragrant, it is pure; but if you look deeply you can already see the compost within the flower. With meditation, you can see that already.

The same is true of our mental formations, which include 'flowers' like faith, hope, understanding and love; but there is also 'waste material' like fear and pain. The flower is on its way to becoming compost, but the compost is also on its way to becoming a flower. This is a principle of Buddhism: there is nothing to be 'thrown away', not the waste, nor the flowers.

If a person has never suffered, he or she will never be able to know happiness. We know well that suffering helps us to understand , that it nurtures our compassion, and that for this reason it is vitally necessary for us. We must know how to learn from suffering, we must know how to make use of it to gather the energy of compassion, of love, of understanding."

- Thich Nhat Hanh, True Love

2011-06-14T12:54:00.000+10:00

I've just been listening to an extremely eye-opening, confronting talk about the pitfalls of the proposed "Malaysian Solution" on Radio National, with Graham Thom from Amnesty International and Eileen Pittaway of UNSW's Centre for Refugee Research, that is well worth a listen.

The conditions for refugees, who cannot move beyond the status of illegal immigrants in Malaysia (ie no emplyoment, housing or health rights) sounds horrifying. There are so many things in this talk that shocked me, but perhaps the most confronting aspect is the way in which Pittaway illuminates some of the horrors of 'endemic' sexual violence against refugee women and children, that sadly constitutes a pattern around the world. The horrors that she speaks of, such as "survival sex", and girls younger than twelve dying in childbirth as a result of rape, their bodies too young to survive labour, would be almost unimaginable if they were not painfully true for far too many people.

(somewhat unrelated image created by me, to break up the text)

The whole thing left me rattled and confused. I wasn't so much left questioning the validity of the Malaysian Solution as a viable option for Australia (it simply isn't) as questioning why we aren't doing more to resettle refugees from Malaysia and other non-signatory countries to here, without a 'swap', now that we know how terrible the conditions are. It's probably just a far-off, near-impossible ideal at this stage, but wouldn't it be amazing if our government was focused on alleviating the suffering of so many people, at the very least in the Asia-Pacific region, rather than trying to find ways to sidestep our obligation as a signatory country of the Human Rights Convention?

In the final part of the talk, Thom calls for a change in attitude among the Australian public and government, to acknowledge that, ultimately,"people aren't moving because they want to, people are moving because they have to." If we could all remember this, from the driver with the "fuck off, we're full" bumper sticker to the prime minister, I think that alone would make a huge difference.

NB: Actually, if we could all simply remember that we are talking about people, that would also probably make a big difference. One of the things that really shook me about the talk was when they mentioned that a lot of the refugees in Malaysia have come from Burma. All I could think of was the Burmese girls that I tutor, who were born in camps on the Thai-Burma border, and could have easily ended up in Malaysia or somewhere else, or perhaps equally as bad, still be detained somewhere like Christmas Island, if they had had the misfortune of arriving by boat. It's a cliche, sure, but when there is a human face that connects you with an issue, it simply can't not matter, yet amidst all the talk of intake numbers and visa grants it's easy to forget altogether that we are talking about people.

2011-06-10T16:03:00.000+10:00

I've fiddled around with and fixed up my online portfolio so please do have a look if you would like to see more of my illustration and design work (or order a print perhaps)!

2011-06-10T15:51:00.001+10:00

I did some extreme spring(winter)-cleaning today, going through all the scraps and bits and pieces that have accumulated over a few years, holding onto things that I love, being ruthless with everything else.

It was funny to see the things that I'd decided to hold onto so long ago; ticket stubs from travel adventures, little pictures from magazines that must've caught my eye, even (embarrassingly, and for no apparent reason) bus and train tickets. Weird.

Most of the stuff had me feeling bewildered, wondering why I would have chosen to keep it, as well as showing up my undoubtable hoarding tendencies..But some of the articles, pictures and photos filled me with simple joy. I felt so glad that I had kept them because they represent and remind me of things, places, experiences, memories and people that still mean a lot to me now.

My favourites were the little notes or drawings given to me by my younger siblings and cousins, particularly the poem by my cousin Kurt which describes a seashell as being "round like a spiky moon" (haha).

If today was anything to go by, I think when I am a mum I am going to need a separate room just for my kids' drawings.

(Joking, kind of.)

2011-06-09T14:09:00.000+10:00

"Former prisoners, when writing or relating their experiences, agree that the most depressing influence of all was that a prisoner could not know how long his term of imprisonment could be. He had been given no date for his release. Actually a prison term was not only uncertain but unlimited. New arrivals usually knew nothing about the conditions at a camp. Those who had come back from other camps were obliged to keep silent, and from some camps no one had returned. On entering camp a change took place in the minds of the men. With the end of uncertainty there came the uncertainty of the end. It was impossible to foresee whether or when, if at all, this form of existence would end."

- Viktor Frankl. Man's Search for Meaning

Frankl's account of surviving a Nazi concentration camp is chilling for its depiction of camp life and the methodical 'breaking down' of the prisoners' will to live. What struck me about the account (among other things) was the above paragraph, where Frankl seems to be saying that, above all else, the indefinite and uncertain nature of their term of imprisonment was perhaps the most insiduous, distressing and soul-destroying aspect of the prisoners' ordeal. To be honest, I was surprised when I read this. Surely the lack of sleep, food, warmth and general degradation was more harrowing than this uncertainty?

Thinking about it a little more, however, it started to make sense, because when you know there will be a definite end to present suffering, it arguably makes it more bearable. When there is no foreseeable end to a hellish existence, it is easy to see how it could become utterly unbearable. Frankl describes how he, and the prisoners, showed surprising resilience in the face of hunger, cold and disease, almost to the point of 'getting used to it', yet the uncertainty and indefinite nature of their imprisonment drove many men to suicide. To this end, he cites that a sense of hope, even a shred of it, became absolutely essential to survival.

Today in Australia, refugees in detention centres around the country are facing the heavy strain and stress of such uncertain and indefinite detention. With many being held in detention for up to 18 months, often in separation from their families and with no idea when their claims will be processed (or not), it's hardly surprising that there have been increasing suicide attempts and reports of widespread serious mental health problems in centres like Villawood. The fact that many detainees have experienced trauma at the hands of militias and corrupt governments in their country of origin, and have often travelled far and for lengthy periods in order to escape persecution, surely only compounds this suffering further.

(image from the Greens)

It should be noted that I am not trying to compare detention centres to concentration camps. Nor am I trying to posit that this is a straightforward issue with easy answers.

It isn't.

What I am trying to say is that it is distressing and heartbreaking that today, in what I think most people would consider a fairly liberal, progressive country, we are subjecting people to the distress and pain of indefinite detention. We might not be able to set up a perfect processing system but surely we can do much, much better than this.

On top of all that, I feel deeply ashamed of the fact that both major political parties are offering up two extreme options that seem doggedly fixed on avoiding Australia's human rights obligations to asylum seekers, rather than actually trying to find solutions that respect and acknowledge those rights.

Greens Senator, Sarah Hanson-Young summed it up perfectly when she stated: "It is extremely disappointing to see how low the debate has stooped when we are left with comparing the dangers of the Malaysian solution with the damaging policy of Nauru. Neither of these options is acceptable -- both are a waste of money, ruin people's lives and are terribly inhumane. The lives of vulnerable people should not be determined by the lesser of two evils. The Prime Minister wants to send children and families to Malaysia and Tony Abbott wants to send them to Nauru -- Australia can do better than this. These are vulnerable people who deserve dignity and respect and need our protection. They should not be used as traded goods for the sake of domestic politics." (Greens site)

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Earlier in the week, it was heartening to see the direct impact that public outrage and action had on the live export industry. Many Australians were horrified at the Four Corners' footage of cattle being subjected to long, drawn-out, painful deaths in Indonesian abattoirs. I heard a radio interview earlier today in which the pertinent comment was made that if the Australian public could see or experience even for a moment the conditions in Villawood detention centre there would (hopefully) be a similar reaction. It might not seem like much, but there are small, but significant ways to show that you care about the way asylum seekers are treated in Australia. Write a letter/flick an email to the Immigration Minister, attend a rally, get yourself well informed and help inform others.

Personally, I'm sick of this even being an issue- it was dealt with inhumanely under the Howard government, now the current government is not doing much better. It has to stop.

> A Just Australia has some suggestions for action and advocacy, and myth-busting fact sheets that will dispel any misconceptions that Abbott and Co. have peddled about refugees.
> Short video on ABC summarising the Human Rights Commission into detention centres, well worth watching.
> Refugee Action Coalition Sydney, which has some very insightful articles about the Malaysia solution, as well as information about the World Refugee Day rallies to be held in state capitals in June.

2011-06-08T13:18:00.000+10:00

-------------------------------------------

I love it when a song or a phrase conjures up vivid images and visual metaphors..

this illustration is for 'Tangled Up in Blue' from the incredible Blood on the Tracks album by Bob Dylan.

shelter.

2011-06-03T17:39:00.000+10:00

Yesterday I had the best felafels I have ever had the pleasure of eating, got to catch up with lovely friends who I haven't seen for ages and was also lucky enough to find Simon Griffiths' book "Shack" on sale at Borders, which I've been thinking about getting for a while.

It's basically a book full of photographs of Australian shacks and makeshift shelters, and it's wonderful just flicking through it and imagining the cosiness inside each one.

Inspired by the book, I decided to comb through my own photos and fish out the shacks and shelters that have caught my eye over the last year or so, around the south coast and also on our trip to Tassie. I hope you enjoy them.

Last but definitely not least, trusty Sven.

(all images copyright of themuccibird 2010-2011)

2011-06-02T09:00:00.017+10:00

Dad found this tiny water dragon on a bit of timber in our wood pile yesterday. We were able to get really close without scaring him..we think he was a bit docile because there was no warm sunlight to bask in. His eyes are amazing, so liquidy and dark.

freedom from fear.

2011-06-01T19:30:00.000+10:00

19th-25th June is national Refugee Week, when a number of events will be held around Sydney and outer regions "to inform the public about refugees and celebrate positive contributions made by refugees to Australian society". Sounds good to me.

In the next few weeks there are also going to be a few lead-up events, such as the Human Rights Arts & Film Festival being held in each state. The Sydney event is on this Saturday (the 4th) and I'm hoping to head up for it. It's a screening of Moving to Mars, a film about a Burmese family who are resettled in Sheffield after twelve years living in a Thai-Burma border camp. From the trailer at least, it looks as though the focus of the film is on portraying the huge upheaval and subsequent culture shock involved in resettling to another, completely alien country (hence the name). I think this is really interesting, as we often don't get to see or hear about just how difficult it must be for refugees once they are actually given refugee status, accepted into a new country and must begin to build new lives in a completely foreign place.

If you're interested in Refugee Week, or even in volunteering at one of the events, the awesome website 3things will be updating events as it draws closer. (They also have a download of this sweet poster by Shaun Tan, as above.)

2011-06-01T15:43:00.002+10:00

Some new artworks from today. It's fun playing around with colours, textures and patterns. I am thinking about setting up an etsy shop to sell prints so hopefully I will have news about that soon once I get a few things sorted!

2011-05-24T19:55:00.001+10:00

There aren't too many obvious advantages of being temporarily struck down with a flu. But there are some.

1. Falling heavily in love with an Australian TV Drama that ended eleven years ago (thanks SeaChange).

I'm hooked. Why aren't there more shows like this? I've only watched the first season and already the stories have touched on euthanasia, environmental degradation, effects of tourism on small towns, teenage suicide, and a whole gamut of relationship challenges while somehow managing to feel feasibly 'real', funny, and not even slightly melodramatic or soapy. Maybe it's just that the characters are so likeable and flawed, or maybe it's just that it's such a refreshing thing to watch because it's not slick, or high-budget, or from Hollywood. Whatever it is, I love it.

(I have to admit I've also enjoyed the neon singlets with weird 90's surf branding and chunky sandals that all the kids in the show have- it makes me think of what my brother and I used to wear when we were about five or six.)

2. Getting to listen to the streamed debut album of Seeker Lover Keeper.

It's the feature this week on Triple J and it's perfect. (I am biased though, as I am unashamedly in love with anything Holly Throsby creates/co-creates.) You can hear it here for the next week or so.

3. Having even more time to dip into the Radio National archives.

Great interview with Greens Senator Sarah Hanson Young, speaking out on the treatment of asylum seekers under Australia's current immigration policy, as well as one with Tim Flannery on Australia's Climate Commission's first major report, The Critical Decade. It's nice when a media site actually provides you with information rather than sensation.

4. Having some extra-appreciation for being able to go outside once you start to feel a bit better.

..Especially when storm clouds are swirling and there's that silent hush over everything before the rain starts falling. Beautiful.

2011-05-19T11:33:00.000+10:00

But after all, nothing is true that forces one to exclude. - Albert Camus

2011-05-12T17:26:00.000+10:00

Ahh the waves today were magical. It was actually exciting getting all rugged up in a big jacket and gloves and riding out to the lookout to take a few photos.

And I loved the colours this afternoon, everything was soft and dreamy-looking. Perfect.

Those fishermen had the best view.

2011-05-11T19:37:00.000+10:00

Today was:

cold hands
apple tea
application writing
radio talks
watering plants
cauliflower soup
a quick bike ride
tiny birds
clean waves
sitting on the sand
pencil drawings
reading in the afternoon
family dinner

and now for some Masterchef and quality Attenborough, to be enjoyed wrapped up in a blanket.

(new artwork.)

I really enjoyed today. A lot.

Why I Love Books #1. They Can Provide You With Perspective, Taking You Outside of Your Limited View, Giving You a Taste of Someone Else's Experience.

2011-05-11T09:28:00.002+10:00

"It is a slightly arresting notion that if you were to pick yourself apart with tweezers, one atom at a time, you would produce a mound of fine atomic dust, none of which had ever been alive but all of which had once been you. Yet somehow for the period of your existence they will answer to a single rigid impulse: to keep you you.

The bad news is that atoms are fickle and their time of devotion is fleeting- fleeting indeed. Even a long human life adds up to only about 650,000 hours. And when that modest milestone flashes into view, or at some other point thereabouts, for reasons unknown your atoms will close you down, then silently disassemble and go off to be other things. And that's it for you.

Still, you may rejoice that it happens at all.
Generally speaking in the universe it doesn't, so far as we can tell. This is decidedly odd because the atoms that so liberally and congenially flock together to form living things on Earth are exactly the same atoms that decline to do it elsewhere. Whatever else it may be, at the level of chemistry, life is fantastically mundane: carbon, hydrogen, oxygen and nitrogen, a little calcium, a dash of sulphur, a light dusting of other very ordinary elements- nothing you wouldn't find in an ordinary pharmacy- and that's all you need.

The only thing special about the atoms is that they make you. That is, of course, the miracle of life."

- Bill Bryson, A Short History of Nearly Everything

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"I'm officially disabled, but I'm truly enabled because of my lack of limbs. My unique challenges have opened up unique opportunities to reach so many in need. Just imagine what is possible for you. Too often we tell ourselves we aren't smart enough or attractive enough or talented enough to pursue our dreams. We buy into what others say about us, or we put restrictions on ourselves.

I have a choice. You have a choice. We can choose to dwell on disappointments and shortcomings. We can choose to be bitter, angry, or sad. Or when faced with hard times and hurtful people, we can choose to learn from the experience and move forward, taking responsibility for our own happiness.

What good is a life without limbs? Just by looking at me, people know that I faced and overcame many obstacles and hardships. That makes them willing to listen to me as a source of inspiration. They allow me to share my faith in God, to tell them they are loved, and to give them hope.

That is my contribution. It's important to recognise your own value. Know that you also have something to contribute. If you feel frustrated right now, that's okay. Your sense of frustration means you want your life to be more than it is now. That's all good. Often it's the challenges in life that show us who we are truly meant to be."

- Nick Vujicic, Life Without Limits

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"I came to see that each day is precious, not for what we can "do with it", but for what it is. Many people express the view that it is not until they know they are dying that they live fully and truthfully, focusing on what's important and discarding what's not. But the reality is we are all dying. Our death may be days away; it may be decades away. But there's no avoiding it.

Understanding how very precious life is, and seeing for myself how fiercely and tenderly people cling to life when they know how little time they have left, I also realised that like any love, our love for life soars when we allow it to become unconditional.

What this means to me is loving life* even when it's not following my orders, wishes or desires; loving life even when it feels massively unfair, disappointing or tragic; loving life even when I am not getting what I want from it.

Of course I welcome some things more than others; of course I am concerned with keeping myself safe; of course I want to do my bit for kindness and goodness and beauty. But loving life only if or when it gives me what I want would keep me from being real."

- Stephanie Dowrick, Choosing Happiness

* NB: I'm pretty sure when Stephanie uses the term "loving life" here she doesn't mean that we should be "stoked" with everything that happens. I think she is talking about having a general attitude that acknowledges that life has value, simply because of what it is. At least that's how I took it.

2011-05-10T13:31:00.000+10:00

A small green enamel cup and glass sugar holder, a bell jar, beautiful textile colours: a satisfying trip to the op-shop.

2011-05-05T17:42:00.004+10:00

(one cure for restlessness, go outside, find a feather and some flower buds, dreamy clouds and fresh oregano)

It's funny. I keep thinking that I'm in an in-between-time, a transition, and that once I start a meaningful career, or move out or miraculously become an adult that I'll somehow feel more grounded and solid. But that's rubbish. And simply not true.

Sometimes it feels like I'm always waiting, and meanwhile life is going by. But I know life doesn't start at some future point, it's happening. Now.

Example A:
Today I spent hours on the computer, frantically trying to research graduate jobs in the humanities/arts sector, gradually becoming more and more daunted and intimidated as I realised how ridiculously underqualified I am to even apply for any jobs that I'm interested in. I felt stuck.

Then I went outside for a walk and realised that I'd been worrying and stressing all morning without really having noticed that it was such a nice day, that the clouds were unusually beautiful, that there was this fresh chill in the air, that it felt good to move my body and look at something other than a computer screen. The worrying and stressing had been pointless and unproductive, achieving nothing except a knot deep in my chest. The walk outside calmed me because I wasn't obsessing over future, nonexistent problems, but just focusing on what was in front of me and around me.

I'm going to try to borrow some wisdom from John Lennon (who said "life is what happens while you're busy making other plans") and change it to "life is what happens while you're waiting for life to happen."

Why is it so hard to be present, to be here, when it's really the only place where you're not 'missing out' on your life? Do you ever feel like this?

Tea.

2011-05-05T15:35:00.003+10:00

1-3. Clipper Organic tea. 4. T2 Green Pack 5. T2 Cup 6. Clipper Organic Tea. 7. T2 For Life Stump pot and Curve cup.

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Mostly I try to be wary not to consume useless 'stuff' just for the sake of it.

But there are four weaknesses that always seem to stop me in my tracks and they are:

Books
Stationery (paper, journals, anything)
Clothes
and Tea/tea-related items

Drinking a cup of peppermint tea, with a good book, is one of the best parts of my day, especially lately since I spend a lot of time at home. Maybe this is a pathetic comment on how my days go but it's true. I like taking a tea break, waiting for the kettle to boil, letting it sit until it's a perfect temperature, enjoying the smell, the taste, the heat. It's awesome.

At risk of making this sound like one massive ad for T2 and Clipper teas, I really do love the colours/packaging/feel of the above pictures. The Clipper box packaging in particular is such a nice example of how illustration with a hand-drawn style and beautiful colours can make something stand out. I think I'd buy those boxes even if there was nothing in them.

(And if you're wondering, books take the cake for the weakness that I most often cave in for. I always seem to be able to justify buying them.)

2011-05-01T16:08:00.002+10:00

We went to Newtown last night and ventured to a bookshop that Ryan had visited before, Berkelouw Books. It is down a side lane off King St. It is the ultimate bookstore, it's as though a good friend who knows your tastes in books exactly has arrived there just before you and set up all the kinds of books they know you would love, without all the rubbish and shelves full of Mills and Boon. We came away with a few treasures, one of which was a collection of poems by the Sufi poet Rumi. I'm really enjoying his words, they are vibrant and relevant even though they were penned in the 12th Century.

The above is an illustration I worked on today based on this passage:

I have a thirsty fish in me

That can never find enough

Of what it's thirsty for

Show me the way to the ocean

Break these half-measures

These small containers

2011-04-29T13:16:00.000+10:00

So many things to be grateful for.

Food that smells incredible (cinnamon, I'm looking at you), looks lovely and tastes good.

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Thoughtful post parcels. The excitement of opening an envelope.

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Nature documentaries. Human Planet is amazing.

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Mornings.

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Stories about the past, seeing someone's face filled with joy talking about memories of their home.

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Incredibly loving people, that I'm lucky enough to call my family.

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(Mum and Dad are celebrating their 27th Anniversary today.)

2011-04-28T18:41:00.000+10:00

I'm not sure how I stumbled onto this, but it is really raw and beautiful.

I found it here.

I like what the original blogger says about it:

"I think that spirituality is unlocked and understood, not acquired or found, and that is the beauty of this clip. Understanding gained through experience, not a sermon, not a book, but through real love."

I want to be more like this dog!

beautiful.

2011-04-25T13:00:00.000+10:00

I was tired o' being drunk
My face cracked like a joke
So I swung through here like a brace of jackrabbits
With their necks all broke

I stumbled at the door with my boot
And I knocked against the jamb
And I scrabbled at your chest like a mute
With my fists of ham

Trying to tell you that I am
Telling you I can
I can love you again
Love you again

I'm squinting towards the East
My faith makes me a dope
But you can take my hand in the darkness, darling
Like a length of rope

I shaped up overnight, you know
The day after she died
When I saw my heart, and I tell you, darling
It was open wide

What with telling you I am
Telling I can
I can love you again
Love you again

And it can have no bounds, you know
It can have no end
But you can take my hand in the darkness, darling
When you need a friend

And it can change in shape and form
But never change in size
Well, the water, it runs deep, my darling
Where it don't run wide

The feather of a hawk was bound
Bound around my neck
A poultice made of fig
The eager little vultures peck

And the verse I read in jest
And Matthew spoke to me
Said, there's a flame that moves like a low-down pest
That says, "you will be free"

Only tell me that I can
Tell me that I can
I can love you again
Love you again

Love you again
Love you

2011-04-20T11:11:00.001+10:00

baby's tears plant. hoping to plant it in an old olive oil tin so it can spill over the top.

avocado, sweet cherry tomato, good bread. a happy breakfast.

A very thoughtful family friend left me an envelope with two bird's nests inside it yesterday. He is the biggest contributor to my growing collection and always holds onto them for me when he finds them on his bush ventures. The interesting thing about the ones he gave me yesterday is that there are two, one above the other on the same branch. I think it might belong to the yellow-rumped thornbill, as they make a 'false nest' above the real one.

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Yellow-rumped Thornbills sometimes breed co-operatively, with a pair being assisted by one or two auxiliaries (helpers), which help to build the nest and feed the young. The nest is a large and untidy structure of grass and bark with two parts: an upper 'false' cup-shaped nest and a lower, domed, nest-chamber with a hooded entrance. The function of the false nest is not clearly understood, with many theories being put forward, such as: deterring predators or parasitic cuckoos, a roosting place for male or fledglings, a 'practice' nest for the helpers or as a 'displacement' activity for males. The nest is usually in the dense foliage of trees, near the end of branches or in vines or mistletoe. The female incubates the eggs alone, but is assisted by the male and any helpers with feeding and protecting the young.

(from birds in the backyard)

2011-04-16T16:58:00.002+10:00

I watched/listened to yet another inspiring TED talk today (seriously, I love the place).
In short, it is about vulnerability and how it is vital for connection between people, and I thoroughly recommend it.

I know it sounds like a bit of a weird subject, but somewhat surprisingly for me, a lot of things that were brought up in the talk rang clear and true. Like massive clanging bells.

(image credit: unruly things )

It provided me with a few moments of precious clarity (which has been scarce on the ground lately) and some distance from my noisy, messy thoughts to actually admit to myself that yep, being vulnerable can be REALLY HARD. But like most things that are hard or challenging, it seems it is also really important for building loving relationships. After watching it, I thought what a shame it would be (and already has been) for me to continually choose 'safety' and invulnerability over true connection and love.

One of the bits that really leapt out at me from the talk was when Brown describes three common things that characterised the attitudes of people who felt genuinely connected to life, and other people, most of the time:

"These people had, quite simply, the courage to be imperfect.

They had the compassion to be kind to themselves first, and then others, because (as it turns out) we can't practice compassion towards other people if we can't treat ourselves kindly.

And the last thing was, they had connection, and (this is the hard part) as a result of authenticity. They were willing to let go of who they thought they SHOULD be, in order to be who they WERE which..you just have to be able to do that for true connection."

Okay, so without sounding melodramatic, THIS WAS LIKE A BOMBSHELL FOR ME. Especially the first part about having the courage to be imperfect. What a radical idea for my perfection-obsessed mind to grapple with.

I feel like all this time I've been struggling against supposed imperfections in myself and others under the delusion that one day I will be this perfect person who never makes mistakes, never acts unconsciously, never does something careless or even hurtful. But I think in a way, I've been treating myself like a project that needs constant fixing, that is never complete and thus always feels lacking or unfinished. Amongst all this, I've been essentially denying that my being as it is, or my life, or whatever you want to call it, has value as it is, just now, without changing a thing. I can see how trying to be perfect (rather than trying to be loving) is actually a barrier to authenticity and connection because it denies who you really are. It also another way to be "right" and see others as "wrong", which only compounds separation and isolation.

The other thing is, the self-perfection approach is never going to work, because, as my brother Joel would say in a Borat-like accent: "Theese eez impossible!"

Many a self-help book sings the praises of self-love so repetitively and sickly-sweetly that it's understandable that many of us shrug it off as sentimental drivel or worse, ill-disguised narcissism (which I would argue it is the opposite of, but more on that another time). Despite all that resistance, I think I'm beginning to see in my own life real ways in which being loving towards yourself and valuing yourself can only better your relationships with other people, other living things and the environment. In fact, it might be the only genuine starting point for doing so.

I can also see how accepting myself wholly will take the pressure of others to somehow compensate for the 'emptiness' that I inevitably feel inside when I don't accept myself as 'good enough'. How much lighter and more joyful would all my relationships be if I wasn't constantly needing approval and acceptance from everyone else (because I'm not getting it from myself)? Answer: infinitely more joyful.

It's almost as though by learning to truly accept and love and trust and value (though not necessarily always like) yourself, in spite of all your flaws and humanness (which you might be able to mask in front of other people but not to yourself) you are setting up a model for how to love other (also inevitably flawed) beings. And I think, in a very vague way, it comes down to acknowledging that all our lives have value simply because they are. Then, and maybe only then is the acceptance and giving of love no longer based on what you have, what labels you identify with, what you do. It becomes unconditional and all-inclusive. In the same way that a mother and father love their newborn child simply because he/she is, maybe that's how we should try to love ourselves.

That doesn't mean that we can't change or better ourselves, but that we will no longer be trying to do that from a place of fear and lack. We won't be trying to become perfect, but just to become the truest, best, most loving version of ourselves. And I think that actually is possible, because it's a process rather than an unattainable goal.

2011-04-16T10:37:00.000+10:00

Lying in bed when it's raining outside is one of life's greatest simple joys.

2011-04-12T14:21:00.002+10:00

Lunch with my brother always doubles as an interesting history lesson/comedy routine. He is studying to become a teacher and is writing a unit on Ancient Greece at the moment, so today we decided to keep in theme (as well as in line with our heritage) and make a Mediterranean feast. We both agreed that it was one of our finest lunch efforts yet.

2011-04-11T13:55:00.000+10:00

"People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar."
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Thich Nhat Hanh

This is so true for me. I am well overdue to change some habits of thinking that have been holding me back from love.

It is going to be hugely difficult, but it could not be more necessary.

(picture from our backyard. Rosemary, clean washing and white flowers.)

2011-04-07T09:28:00.000+10:00

Just a beautiful room, with white panels. From here.

Dreamy, whimsical picture books and animations by the hugely talented Shaun Tan.

Old commons photos. (Source unknown)

Convincing myself that one day I might be able to make something like this. (Source: roots&wings.)

Travelling vicariously through Israel, to the sea of Galilee via the lovely travel blog of David + Sarah.

Waiting in rapture for the new Middle East album, which comes out tomorrow. They are like nothing else.

Can't wait to have a celebratory listening with the Freest Man on Earth :)

2011-04-07T08:39:00.001+10:00

Had a wonderful, perfect day with Yayi (hello!) doing the walk from Bondi to Bronte. The colour of the water was incredibly beautiful. I love days like this, spent in the company of people you love, in a place of salty ocean air and turquoise water. The best.

2011-04-05T12:20:00.003+10:00

New print/illustration. When I have been sitting down with a pen and paper lately, all I want to draw are plants and vessels. Things that grow, and things that hold water for things to grow. I've been drawn to

sea foam greens

warm earth yellows

rusty reds

light mint

deep navy

calming grey

I love these colours and I love when I see them as I go about my day.

It is so awesome to be able to create something, and just be completely swept up in drawing, or playing music, or constructing with your hands, or writing just for the sake of it. I think it is one of the best feelings there is, when you forget about time and your incessant thoughts take a backseat and you are just completely focused and there.

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On that note, there is a great article here on creativity and its importance in shaping a rich, whole life.

I read it in the paper on Sunday and it kind of jolted something in me, reminding me again of just how much I love being creative in any way, and how it's something I'd like to make more time for. The article is basically about how in the act of creating we get to know ourselves better.

It's funny how a lot of people seem to think that they're "not creative types" and how the idea of creativity has become pigeonholed as a purely visual/art-based process. But it's not so limited.

I think anything you do that engages you fully, that you put something of yourself into and makes time sort of cease to matter, is something creative.

I know of one writer* who describes it as more of a state of being (which he calls flow) rather than a type of activity and I think that's telling. One way you can tell you are in a creative state like this is when the end product isn't really the point, because the process is so consuming and enjoyable in itself. So that could be anything really- from tinkering around under the hood of a car, to arranging flowers. The content is different but the state of creativity is the same. And it's such a wonderful thing.

* The very-hard-to-say Mihaly Csikzentmihalyi, who also gave a really interesting TED Talk on creativity which is well worth listening to.

2011-04-02T13:42:00.000+11:00

This morning, sunrise. Soft colours.

A wreath of rosemary, oregano and daisies from our garden. I'm going to make more of these, it was surprisingly therapeutic.

Collections.

Japanese Anemone.
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I am really, really enjoying this blog. Anna is a hugely talented illustrator, writer and photographer. The photos of Iceland make me want to pack my bags and go.

2011-03-31T19:01:00.002+11:00

Without a doubt one of the best talks I have seen on TED, or anywhere on the net for that matter.

John Francis (aka the Planetwalker) stopped using motorised vehicles and stopped speaking for 17 years as a protest action against the environmental devastation he witnessed in a Californian Oil Spill in the 1970s. He earned a Phd in land management and walked across the US, as well as down to South America with his banjo as his companion.

I love what he says about how being silent showed him that he had never truly listened before.

His story, and the warmth and joy with which he tells it, make me happy to know that there are people like this in the world.

(image from saturnneversleeps)

31.3.11

2011-03-31T12:29:00.005+11:00

I'm turning 24 in July. Thankfully, I don't feel scared about it at all.*

Back in the day..Cheeks like a chipmunk, sparklers under the hills hoist and fairy bread on the table.

Note the essential Eric and Ariel cake figurines, which I loved.

Having said that, I can definitely understand why some people greet every approaching birthday with intense panic (and trust me, some people do, ask most of my friends). After all, everything in our culture is geared towards youth.

We are taught that to age is to become obsolete, disposable, useless. It equates to loss of physical 'prettiness' (which seems to be right up the top of the list of "things to fear losing" in Western consumer-focused cultures), loss of the ability to 'contribute' to society in economic terms, and thus loss of 'value'. You don't have to look very far for this message, because it's only subtly hidden in almost every ad, every show, every moisturiser product campaign.

In my experience the opposite has always proved true. The older people that I am lucky enough to have in my life are far, far from being in any way obsolete or valueless. I won't try and put in words how much they mean to me, because I couldn't if I tried, but just trust that they are truly beautiful and loving in ways that can't be marketed.

In fact, the more I think about it, everything I have ever learnt has come either from someone else's hard-won insight as a result of living, or from my own. And living entails ageing. It is an inescapable reality that our bodies are constantly getting older, and like any truth, it is better to recognise and accept it rather than make futile attempts at resisting it (collagen suppliers and users take note.)

I think in order to remember this, it helps to change the predominantly fearful perspective on ageing into one of gratitude. That is, to acknowledge that many people would give anything to have their deceased friend or child reach this age. Or even just to be 24 again.

*(this may or may not have something to do with the fact that I have an inexplicable love for the number 42 and am stoked that my age will soon be an anagram of that number: Excellent.)

2011-03-30T16:26:00.000+11:00

Went for a drive to 'the country' with Dad and Nonna. A few minutes away from home we saw some incredible dark clouds over the ocean, complete with rapturous thunder and a humid sun shower.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I like it when the clouds are so dark and heavy that they start to look like the underbelly of a rolling wave. It makes it seem like there are two oceans, one on top of the other.

2011-03-29T11:22:00.002+11:00

Bounty from this morning's walk on the beach.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Listening to this talk by Nick Vujicic on life without limbs.
Definitely worth a listen if you get a chance, he's an amazing, inspiring person with an attitude that we all could learn from. It's all about being grateful for what you have.

This morn.

2011-03-27T21:17:00.001+11:00

The ocean this morning. I am so lucky to live in such a beautiful part of the world.

Unguarded moments.

2011-03-27T10:25:00.003+11:00

I confess.

I have an unlikely obsession with weddings. Not the buying-wedding-magazines-and-cutting-out-your-dream-dress-when-you're-twelve-years-old kind of obsession but more of a curiosity, an amazement, an interest.

It's unlikely because I'm not too keen on ceremony, awkward family situations, speeches or big puffy white dresses. And I shudder at the thought of people paying huge amounts of money on a flashy wedding while putting in way less effort into working for a good, strong relationship.

BUT..

Despite all that, I love weddings (and photos of weddings) for the same reason I like watching people on trains or watching families together at the park, or people reuniting at an airport terminal.

It's the pure emotion, the lack of self-consciousness, the faces and body language that emanate love, celebration, anticipation and uncertainty. I love looking at the intensity of emotions that colour the faces: of the grandparents, the parents, the couples and their friends.

And I think the simpler the wedding, the more beautiful- because it allows all these things to come through.

(My sentimental rant has concluded. This amazing wedding below made me think of a scene from Everything Is Illuminated, or some gypsy celebration. I think it is incredibly beautiful and simple. It looks like it was a lovely day. From oncewed.)

Today.

2011-03-25T21:08:00.006+11:00

Watched massive dark clouds roll over the hill and the sea. They were so beautiful.

Found a small bird skull on the sand, bleached clean by the sun.

Picked some pretty weeds from our garden to put in a glass bottle.

Found a cookbook and The Boy in Striped Pyjamas for a couple of dollars at the op-shop on my work break.

Ate pasta and pea soup with my family. Then we all watched Coast and marvelled at these beautiful places in Normandy (Mont Saint Michel and Etretat).

Good and true.

2011-03-25T13:44:00.010+11:00

Your task is not to seek for love,

but merely to seek and find

all the barriers within yourself

that you have built against it.

a handful of earth

cries aloud

i used to be hair or

i used to be bones

Out beyond ideas of

wrongdoing and rightdoing,

there is a field.

I will meet you there.

images: 1/ book archive, british book of birds 2/ sam caldwell 3/jane reaction 4/wikimedia commons 5/ wikimedia commons: pulpit rock at kiama (I've been there!)

All words by Sufi poet, Rumi.

thursday morning.

2011-03-24T08:09:00.007+11:00

These pictures make me think of

early mornings : faces that have been hardened by the sun : the side by side rush and calm of travelling in an unfamiliar place : the breathlessness, tired ache in the legs and elation of finally getting to the top of a mountain : new smells and new sounds in new streets : a hot cup of tea at the end of a long day : the movement, rustling and faded blue colour of swirling waves : warm sun on the nape of your neck, like a steady hand : the quiet stillness that descends on some places, in that golden window of time as the sun is coming up or going down.

(All pictures from the incredible eye of Randy Martin.)

planted

2011-03-23T13:16:00.006+11:00

I have been really enjoying doing drawings of pot plants lately. This one now lives on my verandah and has the loveliest shape, like some kind of sea plant or coral. I hope I can keep it alive.

A man and a loom.

2011-03-23T10:24:00.008+11:00

The torrential rain we have been having here for the past few days has stopped. Everything has been given a good wash and the trees, sky, water look clear and bright.

It feels like I'm starting again too, after feeling mostly restless, anxious and overwhelmed last week. It felt like a vague seasickness had decided to take root in my stomach and wouldn't go away. I feel like I've come out of that now but it also made me realise just how much more I need to trust myself, trust my values and trust that feeling of wholeness inside me when things get a bit heavy. If I can't, then I will constantly be depending on other people or things to "make" me happy and I know that is just an impossible request (and I would hate for someone to expect it of me).

I read something today that has stuck with me, a saying by Ghandi that was written on the wall of his ashram:

My life is my message.

It's such a simple philosophy but one that I would like to keep in mind more often. When I think about what "message" my life expresses now compared to what I would like it to say..well, let's just say it's a bit of a gap. But I'm going to try, now in gentler, slower, smaller ways to live a life that's truer to my self- no big dramatic changes, just chipping away very very slowly at the self-doubt and vanity (and everything else) that has become second nature. I actually feel hopeful. I hope you do too.

2011-03-21T10:10:00.007+11:00

"..And I will not weep from despair, but simply because I will be happy in my shed tears. I will be drunk with my own tenderness. Sticky spring leaves, the blue sky- I love them all, that's all. Such things you love not with your mind, not with logic, but with your insides, your guts, you love your first young strength..Do you understand any of this blather, Alyoshka, or not?" Ivan suddenly laughed.

"I understand it all too well, Ivan: to want to love with your insides, your guts- you said it beautifully, and I'm terribly glad that you want so much to live," Alyosha exclaimed. "I think that everyone should love life before everything else in the world."

"Love life more than its meaning?"

"Certainly, love it before logic, as you say, certainly before logic, and only then will I also understand its meaning. That is how I've long imagined it. Half your work is done and acquired , Ivan: you love life. Now you need only apply yourself to the second half, and you are saved."

- The Brothers Karamazov.

images by Prokudin-Gorskii. Ostrechina River, 1909.

Tassie.

2011-03-17T18:50:00.005+11:00

Diptychs I put together from some of our Tasmania photos. It is such a beautiful place.
(the colours always seem to dull once I upload them to the blog, but ah well.)

poster.

2011-03-16T13:02:00.006+11:00

I worked on this poster today for an event that I'm trying to organise (with a little help from my friends). The idea is that everyone brings a few items of clothing to swap, and donates $10 to Alison Thompson, who is doing some incredible aid work in Haiti at the moment. It's only going to be small and local but I'm hoping that my friends will enjoy it enough to make it a more regular thing, so we can raise some money!

To do.

2011-03-16T09:29:00.012+11:00

Learn how to knit mittens.

Go for a walk every day.

Take care of my plants: new soil and a lot more attention to watering (oops).

Cook this (again).

And have a go at making these.

Finish reading the Brothers Karamazov.

Create beautiful things, like this.

Have a beach picnic with friends, like we used to.

Spend more time with the people I love. And actually "be there".

Be kinder to myself (= worrying less).

image credits. 1. cinq. 2. mdashin g 3. unknown 4.+ 5. jamie oliver 6. porter square books 7. amy blackwell 8. original images 9. original image (taken on the spotmatic) 10. unknown.

Love your family.

2011-03-16T07:43:00.012+11:00

It was my brother's 17th birthday yesterday, and in our family it would not be appropriately celebrated if there was not a big family feast, replete with huge bowls of Greek and/or Italian food.

Aside from the mountains of food, we have another tradition on birthdays. It's the type that will probably make you cringe to hear about, but in reality is one of the loveliest things and something that I would love to continue. After we are filled with scrumptious food made by Yayi or Nonna, in that little window of time before the cake is brought out, while we are slothing in our chairs marvelling at the carrying capacities of our stomachs, we go around the table and each of us says something that we love about the birthday boy/girl.

What always strikes me about this little ritual is that I am immediately reminded of just how rarely we share with someone what we truly love about them. And how liberating and connecting it is to do so. So often our exchanges with our families and the people we love are limited to superficial, surface stuff. It takes effort and consideration to step out of that kind of automatic communication, as well as the suspension of that overbearing belief that it's not "cool" to be sentimental or openly, vocally appreciative of those around you.

I think things like this also serve as a beautiful reminder that we are all supported by each other.

I know that personally, I can sometimes feel as if I'm locked in a battle with my mind and my thoughts, that my fears and insecurities are constantly threatening to sabotage my ability to be a loving, kind, content person (and they do). And that can all be really exhausting (as well as hugely disappointing). But when I am surrounded by people who love me and who I love, and we already know all about each other's flaws and "humanness" but accept it as part of the whole, those fears seem to dissolve and I can then feel my own ability to give and care back.

There is a lot of talk about the loss of close community in Western societies and the detrimental effects it has. I believe there is a lot of truth in that. It's one of the many aspects of modern living that contributes to feelings of alienation, isolation and that underlying anxiousness that can be so pervasive in our lives. That's why being part of a family is so important.

And it doesn't have to be 'family' in the traditional sense of mum, dad, two kids and a dog. It's whoever supports you, whoever you can talk to beyond the superficial- be it your colleagues, your partner, your friends. The people that help keep you afloat.

Now that I've had my ramble, how do you feel connected? What little "traditions" do you have to help you take time to appreciate the people you love?

2011-03-14T11:31:00.003+11:00

What a perfect description of a perfect song. From Everybody Cares.

Do You Realize? - The Flaming Lips

It’s such a gut-punch of a line, and I never, ever don’t think about exactly what it is saying every single time I hear it:

Do you realize that everyone you know, one day, will die?

No matter where I am when I hear it - in the car, doing chores, on my bed - it knocks me out. But it also centers me, providing an almost Buddhist sort of balance to things, an inevitability to the proceedings, whatever the proceedings may be. All things must pass.

And yet it’s wrapped up in such a beautiful package: Wayne Coyne and the rest of the Lips’ ecstatic, propulsive melodies - a sound not unlike what I’d imagine joy itself sounds like. Coyne delivers the line, then, in the only real way that allows you to accept it without becoming instanteously and overwhelmingly depressed: in the context of wonder. In the context of awe. It’s happiness battling sadness, life battling death, music - the sheer universal glory of it - battling this awful mortal coil.

In just a handful of minutes, “Do You Realize?” accomplishes two very diverse, yet overlapping objectives. It makes you think about your own mortality while simultaneously providing you with an aural reminder of just why life is so worth living. For songs like this.

Listen to Do you realize?
(all original images)

A teaspoon of Mother Teresa: for when you don't know what to do when faced with all the suffering in the world.

2011-03-10T12:56:00.009+11:00

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family."

"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."

"It is a poverty to decide that a child must die so that you may live as you wish."

"Never worry about numbers. Help one person at a time and always start with the person nearest you."

"Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat."

"Each one of them is Jesus in disguise."

"In the West there is a tendency to be profit-oriented, where everything is measured according to the results and we get caught up in being more and more active to generate results. In the East -- especially in India -- I find that people are more content to just be, to just sit around under a banyan tree for half a day chatting to each other. Westerners would probably call that wasting time. But there is value to it. Being with someone, listening without a clock and without anticipation of results, teaches us about love. The success of love is in the loving -- it is not in the result of loving. "

"Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies."

"Let us not be satisfied with just giving money. Money is not enough, money can be got, but they need your hearts to love them. So, spread your love everywhere you go."

"Live simply so others may simply live."

boy and llama.

2011-03-09T11:23:00.004+11:00

Another collage, and a birthday card for a friend who loves llamas.

scraps of paper.

2011-03-08T10:15:00.006+11:00

Rice porridge, new Holly Throsby, getting things done that I've been putting off, and a newfound love of making collages.

drawings.

2011-03-02T11:13:00.006+11:00

I went through a drawer filled with paper scraps and found some little pen drawings I had done a while ago. I thought I'd do something with them instead of letting them wallow among ticket stubs and cutouts.

I go through stages where I don't feel visually creative. Everything feels forced and difficult, my imagination seems stale and dried out. Usually when I feel like that I am drawn to other things, like writing and taking photos. Now I am excited because I can feel the strong urge to draw and create and paint coming back.

2011-02-28T11:26:00.006+11:00

Billboards by Robert Montgomery.

Imagine walking past one of these on your way to work. I think the rest of the day would feel different.

Valencia 826.

2011-02-26T15:53:00.003+11:00

What an amazing idea. One of the most inspiring, exciting education projects I have ever come across. They are opening something similar in Redfern soon, the Sydney Story Factory, and I've already signed up my name to be a part of it as a volunteer tutor. Go Eggers!

Love letter to The Good Weekend.

2011-02-26T14:05:00.015+11:00

One of my favourite things to do on a weekend morning is grab a piece of fruit (today it was a plum) or a bowl of muesli, pull up a chair on our balcony and sit back with the weekend paper.

I am particularly enamoured with the weekly pull-out magazine that comes with the SMH: the Good Weekend. So much so that my mum actually saved me all the ones I missed out on while travelling in Tasmania.

Unlike its slightly shallower cousin Sunday Life, Good Weekend always manages to alternatively move me from the verge of tears (especially the Two of Us column), to fist-shaking anger (today's article on the beef industry), to laughter and joy (Dave Eggers' creative tutoring organisation), to quiet introspection (once I finally put it down and process it all).

Here's a nugget of wisdom from today's article on Elton John and his partner David Furnish becoming fathers, by AA Gill:

"It isn't the reluctant acceptance of differences that forges a homogenous society, it is the recognition of similarity, of what we share. Birth, death and marriage should be universal."

Well said.

Aside from Dumbo Feather magazine (which is incredible), to me GW is unparalleled in its honest focus on people, 'ordinary' or otherwise, and their lives and stories, replete with fear, hope, resilience, sorrow, joy and love. The fact that it is simply included with the weekend paper (for a few dollars) makes it all the more sweeter.

Excuse the gushing, but I think it's nice to have little weekend rituals like this. They bring things back into focus, remind me again about what's really important (and what isn't) and help me climb out of my own limited, self-centred headspace for a while and contemplate what it's like for other people who are also "doing life". Writing that can invoke that kind of strong empathy is really an amazing thing that shouldn't be undervalued.

Sun beaming.

2011-02-24T17:45:00.005+11:00

Huon pine 'necklace'. Chickpea patties and tomato salad. 50c dress from opshop in Tassie which I have been enjoying immensely. Succulent plant that has come back to life with a bit of water and sun. Blue wren painting.

(all photos by themuccibird)

there's a limit to your love.

2011-02-24T10:43:00.022+11:00

Why is it that people think there is some kind of quantifiable limit to the compassion and care an individual or society can have? And that to care about one thing necessarily presupposes that you do not care at all about other issues?

I read an article recently that really brought the insanity of this kind of thinking to the fore. The piece is by Kon Karapanagiotidis, CEO of the Victiorian Asylum Seeker Resource Centre (and contender for one of the hardest-to-pronounce surnames in the country), and it elucidates a disturbing pattern he has noticed in people's responses to asylum seekers during times of local tragedy and disaster.

If you are interested, you can read it here (and I recommend you do*), but the general gist of it is that in the aftermath of both the Victorian bushfires and the recent floods in Queensland, Kon received an influx of hate mail detailing what people thought of as his misplaced compassion for refugees when "real" Australians needed help.

This snippet from the article might give you a general idea:

In the aftermath of the Victorian bushfires I received endless emails questioning why, when everyday Australians are battling bushfires, we are ‘paying illegals four times what a pensioner gets and they live it up in four star hotels while our people go homeless'.

What stuck out for me was not so much how baseless this was (asylum seekers have no access to any form of Centrelink and are 120 times more likely to be homeless than the average Australian), but that it comes at such a time and is the first thought in some people's minds after horrific events.

As you can see, the article highlights something that is hugely problematic with this whole issue: and that is, that a lot of us are completely misinformed about asylum seekers. There are some really informative myth-busting fact sheets available from refugee advocacy groups that effectively explain some of the misconceptions (which I will detail at another time), but unfortunately such information often only reaches those who actively seek it out. Until the mainstream media actually does its job and delivers sound information people will continue to base their opinions on sensationalised stories with little in the way of objective information.

When I read the article, I found it difficult and almost maddening to imagine what could provoke someone to sit down and write a hateful letter or email to the CEO of a humanitarian organisation during a time of tragedy. The only possible explanation that I could think of is that these people are somehow affronted by the compassion being shown to asylum seekers, seeing it as an offence to the 'real' Australians (whatever that means) in need of help. But since when did caring about something (and in Kon's case, working for that cause) mean that your capacity to care about and indeed help in other situations was somehow diminished??

Perhaps I am alone in this, but it seems ludicrous to genuinely think that if someone like Kon cares deeply about one issue (the welfare of asylum seekers) that this somehow automatically presupposes that he has no capacity to care about another issue (the Australians effected by the natural disasters). To me this makes no sense whatsoever.

I know this has already turned into a fairly substantial rant (well done if you have made it this far!) but I also want to note that, in my own experience at least, the opposite has always proven true. That is, the more I have come to care about an issue, the more I have come to care about, well, everything else too. Becoming a vegetarian is a case in point: both myself and my boyfriend noticed that once we started thinking about questions of animal welfare and the like, that our interest and concern 'spread', as it were, to other areas too. Questions naturally lead to more questions, and suddenly these supposedly separate "issues" that we were starting to genuinely care about (eg. animal welfare, looking after the natural environment, human rights) no longer seemed so discrete and delineated, but actually very related.

So maybe with compassion it isn't at all a matter of "reaching capacity" and giving to some but not others, but rather, something that actually grows the more you feel it and practice it. Because ultimately, isn't compassion an active way of extending yourself for someone else? From a place of love? I really don't think there is a limit to that.

* but try and avoid the mostly xenophobic reader's comments at the end of the article, unless you want to give yourself indigestion as I almost did.

(Original image, by themuccibird. Please do not reproduce without permission)

back.

2011-02-21T11:24:00.006+11:00

We are home from a month's trip travelling around Tassie. We became efficient van inhabitants, living much more simply than we do at home and realising (in practice, not just in thought) that you don't need much at all. We saw some truly beautiful landscapes, read lots, met some awesome travellers, visited some very old (and tall) trees and overcame some of the little stresses that come with living in a confined space. I hope I can not only remember the things that I learnt and experienced but live them out.

on the road.

2011-01-15T15:09:00.003+11:00

Tomorrow we leave for a month and a bit's worth of roadtripping, camping, bushfires, peppermint tea, exploring, tree-admiring, bird-watching, intensive beard-growing (my boyfriend, not me), drawing, reading and general immersion in the beautiful wilderness of Tasmania.

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed because there are so many places in the world that I would love to see and explore and experience- it almost makes me panicky when I think of all the places that I want to visit in my lifetime! But it always helps to remember that, ultimately, to travel (and to have the time and money to do so) is a huge privilege, one that many, many people in the world never get the chance to enjoy. I'm going to try and soak up every moment of this trip.

books by the cover.

2011-01-10T18:11:00.005+11:00

All from the Book Cover Archive.

fossicking.

2011-01-09T18:10:00.006+11:00

I went exploring around the rockpools this afternoon and found some little treasures (excluding a live starfish about the size of a 5 cent coin, something that looked like a trilobite fossil, a dead crab and seahorse, as well as numerous dead jellyfish- all of which I decided it was better to leave on the sand). I've just started reading "My Family and Other Animals" by Gerald Durrell, about the author's childhood growing up in Corfu, where he basically spends his days exploring the island's beaches and olive groves with his dog Roger, watching spiders, beetles and caterpillars for hours on end. I think a bit of the childish wonder rubbed off on me as I ended up spending a good hour kneeling by the rockpools, trying to get a better look at the mini-world inside each one. There was a huge low-lying cloud hugging the escarpment the whole time I was down there, which made it just that bit more surreal. An awesome afternoon.

inspiration

2011-01-07T12:40:00.006+11:00

1. source unknown. 2, 3, 4. abby try again 5. miss moss 6. timothy allen- human planet 7.mexican indian huipils via miss moss 8.timothy allen 9. 16 house 10. timothy allen

yurt time lapse.

2011-01-07T12:38:00.000+11:00

housesitting.

2011-01-05T11:04:00.009+11:00

My friend has kindly let us look after her lovely little house while she is away. It's such a nice, cosy, light dwelling, we are very lucky to be able to rest here for a few holiday weeks, reading, drawing, cooking (and trying my hand at printmaking).

thanks.

2011-01-03T21:30:00.007+11:00

It's so easy to forget or overlook all the wonderful things each day that are worth being grateful for. Reflecting and thinking about the little things, its always surprising how many amazing moments there are every day when you actually pay attention to them.

It's something I've been thinking about with all the Christmas and New Year's celebrations: these days are "special" because we set them aside as such. What really makes them special is not some kind of external calendar though- it's the fact that on these days (if we're lucky) we are surrounded by people we love, good food and (most importantly) can forget about everything else in our normal routine and simply be there, together.

In a sense, I think every day could be like this. Obviously not in the exact same way (most of us would triple in size if every lunch was like Christmas lunch), but in terms of the attention and joy we bring to it.

Something I want to try to do this year is start writing about things I am grateful for each day, both here and in my journal, to hopefully encourage myself to be more mindful.

So here are some moments I am thankful for today, feel free to add anything of your own :)

Monday 3.1.11

waking up next to my favourite person

watching swallows perched on the fence

having time to read, drink tea and curl up on the lounge with no obligations

fish and chips under the watchful eye of flying gulls, with a sea breeze

bumping into someone I have not seen in years, and being overwhelmed by her warmth and joy

listening to thunder and fat raindrops splattering on the roof

being able to spend time with my awesome mum and sister, trying to sew flags and sharing more cups of tea (and fruit cake)

lighting candles and watching the flame flicker

eating delicious thai food with two old friends while simultaneously solving the world's problems

coming home to a quiet, peaceful house.

bone dry.

2011-01-03T18:25:00.002+11:00

(tiny bone I found on the beach about a month ago, perfectly shaped and such a clear white. wise words by hafiz.)

A New Year

2011-01-03T09:33:00.009+11:00

Above all, this year (and every year, every day) I want to be a more loving person.

And I want to stop worrying about the fact that I'm not even entirely sure what "loving" truly means, and instead just try harder to find out through my experiences and relationships.

I want everything I do, everything I am, to be an expression of love: be it painting, working, reading, walking, cooking, talking, listening. I want to not care about sounding corny or sentimental and be able to tell (as well as show) people how I feel about them.

I want to be aware more often of the fact that I am surrounded by so many beautiful, loving people who continually show me what love means in a real, active way.

I want to (I have to!) encompass all the fear in my mind with love and compassion, learn to be kinder to myself and not let myself be engulfed by my thoughts.

Mostly, I want to be able to keep trying. Not to fall into a heap when I realise that I'm living in an automatic, unconscious way but to simply acknowledge that, then start again. And again, and again.

Happy 2011!

-------------------------------------------
all original photos. The last one is of my grandfather, doing an impromptu dance at one of our christmas celebrations. I think it is my favourite photo of all time.

i'll sew us a blanket.

2010-12-17T18:28:00.003+11:00

I think something I would like to do one day is make a big quilt (although I'll have to learn to sew properly first).

Mum used to make them with a group of her friends and I always loved how each person would collect different squares of fabrics with colours and patterns that they were drawn to, so that in the end you would have all these beautiful, unique blankets.

These ones (from Niki Jones) made from second-hand Indian saris are so beautiful. The colours are just incredible.

real love.

2010-12-16T17:22:00.012+11:00

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Some excerpts from the letters of Kahlil Gibran to Mary Haskell
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My boyfriend and I recently went to see an exhibition of Kahlil Gibran's work at the State Library, and I was completely blown away by his ability to express universal truths about love, life, joy and suffering in such an eloquent, timeless way. You could see it in the paintings and sketches, as well as in the words that circled the walls.

I don't know much about Gibran's relationship with Haskell, but I do know that reading these excerpts made me realise how real love is always generous and expansive, not limiting and possessive like the supposedly 'romantic' ideas we are bombarded with in movies and magazines.

Something that really appealed to me about these quotes is the way that Gibran seems to fully grasp the idea that in order to truly love someone in that compassionate, inclusive, accepting way, whether it's your partner or your brother or the stranger sitting next you on a train, you have to acknowledge that this person is real. That is, just like you, they are complex, often contradictory beings who ultimately want to receive and (hopefully) give love. Or at least that's how I understand it, and try (with difficulty) to constantly remember.

I think, in the end, it's easy to 'love' (read: worship, idolise) someone that you have shaped in your head as a perfect, faultless being; the instant human band-aid that will heal every insecurity you ever had about yourself. The problem is, that is a fiction. It is much harder (but arguably much more rewarding and true) to love in a way that acknowledges reality rather than distorts it, acknowledges sameness over difference, and acknowledges both the joy and sadness of living.

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No human relation gives one possession in another - every two souls are absolutely different. In friendship or in love, the two side by side raise hands together to find what one cannot reach alone.
(Kahlil Gibran from Mary Haskell’s Journal June 8, 1924.)

If I can open a new corner in a man’s own heart to him I have not lived in vain. Life itself is the thing, not joy or pain or happiness or unhappiness. Live for yourself - live your life. Then you are most truly the friend of man. - I am different every day - and when I am eighty, I shall still be experimenting and changing. Work that I have done no longer concerns me - it is past. I have too much on hand in life itself.
(Kahlil Gibran from Mary Haskell’s Journal. December 25, 1912.)

I realised that all the trouble I ever had about you came from some smallness or fear in myself.
(From Mary Haskell’s Journal. June 12, 1912.)

You listen to so much more than I can say. You hear consciousness.
You go with me where the words I say can’t carry you.
(Kahlil Gibran from Mary Haskell’s Journal June 5, 1924.)

If I accept the sunshine and warmth I must also accept the thunder and lightning.
(Kahlil Gibran from Mary Haskell’s Journal. March 12, 1922.)

The resting place of my soul is a beautiful grove where my knowledge of you lives.
(Kahlil Gibran’s letter November 8, 1908.)

I want to be alive To all the life that is in me now, to know each moment to the uttermost.
(Kahlil Gibran from Mary Haskell’s Journal June 7, 1912.)

[first two images from garrettlockhart, third unknown, fourth jonathan delafield cook]

2010-12-12T20:24:00.001+11:00

"Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis on which the world earth revolves - slowly, evenly, without rushing toward the future."
— Thich Nhat Hanh

beautiful day.

2010-12-12T18:41:00.003+11:00

warm air. family. cool water. seafood. lemon barley cordial. tin can pots. spanish guitar. golden afternoon light. barefeet on hot ground. white cotton. bird calls. so lucky.

Fool's Gold

2010-12-09T13:08:00.005+11:00

‘Cause what we have
Is good as gold
Malleable
Good to hold
Moulding is good
‘Cause life is change
And change is good
And you are good

There’ll be an avalanche
On this desert land
It’ll come down
It’ll come down to be
The evidence
Of heaven
I know
I love you
And I know you well

And you’re changing me
Changing me
Changing me
Changing me

(words by The Middle East, painting "Love" by Kahlil Gibran)

I can't wait to visit here: Stanley, Tasmania.

(from atlantic treefox)

(original images, except where credited)

rain clouds.

2010-11-30T20:34:00.006+11:00

It's so easy to only see the tiny blemishes in your life rather than the huge expanses of goodness, love and beauty around you.

[ I know I will soon forget this feeling of perfect wholeness and gratitude, but hopefully it is something I will continually return to, and never stop seeking. ]

all original images.